diff --git a/e2e/handshakes_test.go b/e2e/handshakes_test.go
index 29b9d536e..aab5445ea 100644
--- a/e2e/handshakes_test.go
+++ b/e2e/handshakes_test.go
@@ -9,6 +9,8 @@ import (
 	"testing"
 	"time"
 
+	"github.com/google/gopacket"
+	"github.com/google/gopacket/layers"
 	"github.com/sirupsen/logrus"
 	"github.com/slackhq/nebula"
 	"github.com/slackhq/nebula/cert"
@@ -469,6 +471,137 @@ func TestRelays(t *testing.T) {
 	//TODO: assert we actually used the relay even though it should be impossible for a tunnel to have occurred without it
 }
 
+func TestReestablishRelays(t *testing.T) {
+	ca, _, caKey, _ := cert_test.NewTestCaCert(cert.Version1, cert.Curve_CURVE25519, time.Now(), time.Now().Add(10*time.Minute), nil, nil, []string{})
+	myControl, myVpnIpNet, _, _ := newSimpleServer(cert.Version1, ca, caKey, "me     ", "10.128.0.1/24", m{"relay": m{"use_relays": true}})
+	relayControl, relayVpnIpNet, relayUdpAddr, _ := newSimpleServer(cert.Version1, ca, caKey, "relay  ", "10.128.0.128/24", m{"relay": m{"am_relay": true}})
+	theirControl, theirVpnIpNet, theirUdpAddr, _ := newSimpleServer(cert.Version1, ca, caKey, "them   ", "10.128.0.2/24", m{"relay": m{"use_relays": true}})
+
+	// Teach my how to get to the relay and that their can be reached via the relay
+	myControl.InjectLightHouseAddr(relayVpnIpNet[0].Addr(), relayUdpAddr)
+	myControl.InjectRelays(theirVpnIpNet[0].Addr(), []netip.Addr{relayVpnIpNet[0].Addr()})
+	relayControl.InjectLightHouseAddr(theirVpnIpNet[0].Addr(), theirUdpAddr)
+
+	// Build a router so we don't have to reason who gets which packet
+	r := router.NewR(t, myControl, relayControl, theirControl)
+	defer r.RenderFlow()
+
+	// Start the servers
+	myControl.Start()
+	relayControl.Start()
+	theirControl.Start()
+
+	t.Log("Trigger a handshake from me to them via the relay")
+	myControl.InjectTunUDPPacket(theirVpnIpNet[0].Addr(), 80, myVpnIpNet[0].Addr(), 80, []byte("Hi from me"))
+
+	p := r.RouteForAllUntilTxTun(theirControl)
+	r.Log("Assert the tunnel works")
+	assertUdpPacket(t, []byte("Hi from me"), p, myVpnIpNet[0].Addr(), theirVpnIpNet[0].Addr(), 80, 80)
+
+	t.Log("Ensure packet traversal from them to me via the relay")
+	theirControl.InjectTunUDPPacket(myVpnIpNet[0].Addr(), 80, theirVpnIpNet[0].Addr(), 80, []byte("Hi from them"))
+
+	p = r.RouteForAllUntilTxTun(myControl)
+	r.Log("Assert the tunnel works")
+	assertUdpPacket(t, []byte("Hi from them"), p, theirVpnIpNet[0].Addr(), myVpnIpNet[0].Addr(), 80, 80)
+
+	// If we break the relay's connection to 'them', 'me' needs to detect and recover the connection
+	r.Log("Close the tunnel")
+	relayControl.CloseTunnel(theirVpnIpNet[0].Addr(), true)
+
+	start := len(myControl.GetHostmap().Indexes)
+	curIndexes := len(myControl.GetHostmap().Indexes)
+	for curIndexes >= start {
+		curIndexes = len(myControl.GetHostmap().Indexes)
+		r.Logf("Wait for the dead index to go away:start=%v indexes, currnet=%v indexes", start, curIndexes)
+		myControl.InjectTunUDPPacket(theirVpnIpNet[0].Addr(), 80, myVpnIpNet[0].Addr(), 80, []byte("Hi from me should fail"))
+
+		r.RouteForAllExitFunc(func(p *udp.Packet, c *nebula.Control) router.ExitType {
+			return router.RouteAndExit
+		})
+		time.Sleep(2 * time.Second)
+	}
+	r.Log("Dead index went away. Woot!")
+	r.RenderHostmaps("Me removed hostinfo", myControl, relayControl, theirControl)
+	// Next packet should re-establish a relayed connection and work just great.
+
+	t.Logf("Assert the tunnel...")
+	for {
+		t.Log("RouteForAllUntilTxTun")
+		myControl.InjectLightHouseAddr(relayVpnIpNet[0].Addr(), relayUdpAddr)
+		myControl.InjectRelays(theirVpnIpNet[0].Addr(), []netip.Addr{relayVpnIpNet[0].Addr()})
+		relayControl.InjectLightHouseAddr(theirVpnIpNet[0].Addr(), theirUdpAddr)
+		myControl.InjectTunUDPPacket(theirVpnIpNet[0].Addr(), 80, myVpnIpNet[0].Addr(), 80, []byte("Hi from me"))
+
+		p = r.RouteForAllUntilTxTun(theirControl)
+		r.Log("Assert the tunnel works")
+		packet := gopacket.NewPacket(p, layers.LayerTypeIPv4, gopacket.Lazy)
+		v4 := packet.Layer(layers.LayerTypeIPv4).(*layers.IPv4)
+		if slices.Compare(v4.SrcIP, myVpnIpNet[0].Addr().AsSlice()) != 0 {
+			t.Logf("SrcIP is unexpected...this is not the packet I'm looking for. Keep looking")
+			continue
+		}
+		if slices.Compare(v4.DstIP, theirVpnIpNet[0].Addr().AsSlice()) != 0 {
+			t.Logf("DstIP is unexpected...this is not the packet I'm looking for. Keep looking")
+			continue
+		}
+
+		udp := packet.Layer(layers.LayerTypeUDP).(*layers.UDP)
+		if udp == nil {
+			t.Log("Not a UDP packet. This is not the packet I'm looking for. Keep looking")
+			continue
+		}
+		data := packet.ApplicationLayer()
+		if data == nil {
+			t.Log("No data found in packet. This is not the packet I'm looking for. Keep looking.")
+			continue
+		}
+		if string(data.Payload()) != "Hi from me" {
+			t.Logf("Unexpected payload: '%v', keep looking", string(data.Payload()))
+			continue
+		}
+		t.Log("I found my lost packet. I am so happy.")
+		break
+	}
+	t.Log("Assert the tunnel works the other way, too")
+	for {
+		t.Log("RouteForAllUntilTxTun")
+		theirControl.InjectTunUDPPacket(myVpnIpNet[0].Addr(), 80, theirVpnIpNet[0].Addr(), 80, []byte("Hi from them"))
+
+		p = r.RouteForAllUntilTxTun(myControl)
+		r.Log("Assert the tunnel works")
+		packet := gopacket.NewPacket(p, layers.LayerTypeIPv4, gopacket.Lazy)
+		v4 := packet.Layer(layers.LayerTypeIPv4).(*layers.IPv4)
+		if slices.Compare(v4.DstIP, myVpnIpNet[0].Addr().AsSlice()) != 0 {
+			t.Logf("Dst is unexpected...this is not the packet I'm looking for. Keep looking")
+			continue
+		}
+		if slices.Compare(v4.SrcIP, theirVpnIpNet[0].Addr().AsSlice()) != 0 {
+			t.Logf("SrcIP is unexpected...this is not the packet I'm looking for. Keep looking")
+			continue
+		}
+
+		udp := packet.Layer(layers.LayerTypeUDP).(*layers.UDP)
+		if udp == nil {
+			t.Log("Not a UDP packet. This is not the packet I'm looking for. Keep looking")
+			continue
+		}
+		data := packet.ApplicationLayer()
+		if data == nil {
+			t.Log("No data found in packet. This is not the packet I'm looking for. Keep looking.")
+			continue
+		}
+		if string(data.Payload()) != "Hi from them" {
+			t.Logf("Unexpected payload: '%v', keep looking", string(data.Payload()))
+			continue
+		}
+		t.Log("I found my lost packet. I am so happy.")
+		break
+	}
+	r.RenderHostmaps("Final hostmaps", myControl, relayControl, theirControl)
+
+}
+
 func TestStage1RaceRelays(t *testing.T) {
 	//NOTE: this is a race between me and relay resulting in a full tunnel from me to them via relay
 	ca, _, caKey, _ := cert_test.NewTestCaCert(cert.Version1, cert.Curve_CURVE25519, time.Now(), time.Now().Add(10*time.Minute), nil, nil, []string{})
diff --git a/handshake_ix.go b/handshake_ix.go
index d1f3b5a9f..43c794601 100644
--- a/handshake_ix.go
+++ b/handshake_ix.go
@@ -400,6 +400,9 @@ func ixHandshakeStage1(f *Interface, addr netip.AddrPort, via *ViaSender, packet
 			return
 		}
 		hostinfo.relayState.InsertRelayTo(via.relayHI.vpnAddrs[0])
+		// I successfully received a handshake. Just in case I marked this tunnel as 'Disestablished', ensure
+		// it's correctly marked as working.
+		via.relayHI.relayState.UpdateRelayForByIdxState(via.remoteIdx, Established)
 		f.SendVia(via.relayHI, via.relay, msg, make([]byte, 12), make([]byte, mtu), false)
 		f.l.WithField("vpnAddrs", vpnAddrs).WithField("relay", via.relayHI.vpnAddrs[0]).
 			WithField("certName", certName).
diff --git a/handshake_manager.go b/handshake_manager.go
index ee1545647..0e5c4fae7 100644
--- a/handshake_manager.go
+++ b/handshake_manager.go
@@ -285,67 +285,9 @@ func (hm *HandshakeManager) handleOutbound(vpnIp netip.Addr, lighthouseTriggered
 				hm.f.Handshake(relay)
 				continue
 			}
-			// Check the relay HostInfo to see if we already established a relay through it
-			if existingRelay, ok := relayHostInfo.relayState.QueryRelayForByIp(vpnIp); ok {
-				switch existingRelay.State {
-				case Established:
-					hostinfo.logger(hm.l).WithField("relay", relay.String()).Info("Send handshake via relay")
-					hm.f.SendVia(relayHostInfo, existingRelay, hostinfo.HandshakePacket[0], make([]byte, 12), make([]byte, mtu), false)
-				case Requested:
-					hostinfo.logger(hm.l).WithField("relay", relay.String()).Info("Re-send CreateRelay request")
-
-					m := NebulaControl{
-						Type:                NebulaControl_CreateRelayRequest,
-						InitiatorRelayIndex: existingRelay.LocalIndex,
-					}
-
-					switch relayHostInfo.GetCert().Certificate.Version() {
-					case cert.Version1:
-						if !hm.f.myVpnAddrs[0].Is4() {
-							hostinfo.logger(hm.l).Error("can not establish v1 relay with a v6 network because the relay is not running a current nebula version")
-							continue
-						}
-
-						if !vpnIp.Is4() {
-							hostinfo.logger(hm.l).Error("can not establish v1 relay with a v6 remote network because the relay is not running a current nebula version")
-							continue
-						}
-
-						b := hm.f.myVpnAddrs[0].As4()
-						m.OldRelayFromAddr = binary.BigEndian.Uint32(b[:])
-						b = vpnIp.As4()
-						m.OldRelayToAddr = binary.BigEndian.Uint32(b[:])
-					case cert.Version2:
-						m.RelayFromAddr = netAddrToProtoAddr(hm.f.myVpnAddrs[0])
-						m.RelayToAddr = netAddrToProtoAddr(vpnIp)
-					default:
-						hostinfo.logger(hm.l).Error("Unknown certificate version found while creating relay")
-						continue
-					}
-
-					msg, err := m.Marshal()
-					if err != nil {
-						hostinfo.logger(hm.l).
-							WithError(err).
-							Error("Failed to marshal Control message to create relay")
-					} else {
-						// This must send over the hostinfo, not over hm.Hosts[ip]
-						hm.f.SendMessageToHostInfo(header.Control, 0, relayHostInfo, msg, make([]byte, 12), make([]byte, mtu))
-						hm.l.WithFields(logrus.Fields{
-							"relayFrom":           hm.f.myVpnAddrs[0],
-							"relayTo":             vpnIp,
-							"initiatorRelayIndex": existingRelay.LocalIndex,
-							"relay":               relay}).
-							Info("send CreateRelayRequest")
-					}
-				default:
-					hostinfo.logger(hm.l).
-						WithField("vpnIp", vpnIp).
-						WithField("state", existingRelay.State).
-						WithField("relay", relayHostInfo.vpnAddrs[0]).
-						Errorf("Relay unexpected state")
-				}
-			} else {
+			// Check the relay HostInfo to see if we already established a relay through
+			existingRelay, ok := relayHostInfo.relayState.QueryRelayForByIp(vpnIp)
+			if !ok {
 				// No relays exist or requested yet.
 				if relayHostInfo.remote.IsValid() {
 					idx, err := AddRelay(hm.l, relayHostInfo, hm.mainHostMap, vpnIp, nil, TerminalType, Requested)
@@ -397,6 +339,73 @@ func (hm *HandshakeManager) handleOutbound(vpnIp netip.Addr, lighthouseTriggered
 							Info("send CreateRelayRequest")
 					}
 				}
+				continue
+			}
+
+			switch existingRelay.State {
+			case Established:
+				hostinfo.logger(hm.l).WithField("relay", relay.String()).Info("Send handshake via relay")
+				hm.f.SendVia(relayHostInfo, existingRelay, hostinfo.HandshakePacket[0], make([]byte, 12), make([]byte, mtu), false)
+			case Disestablished:
+				// Mark this relay as 'requested'
+				relayHostInfo.relayState.UpdateRelayForByIpState(vpnIp, Requested)
+				fallthrough
+			case Requested:
+				hostinfo.logger(hm.l).WithField("relay", relay.String()).Info("Re-send CreateRelay request")
+				// Re-send the CreateRelay request, in case the previous one was lost.
+				m := NebulaControl{
+					Type:                NebulaControl_CreateRelayRequest,
+					InitiatorRelayIndex: existingRelay.LocalIndex,
+				}
+
+				switch relayHostInfo.GetCert().Certificate.Version() {
+				case cert.Version1:
+					if !hm.f.myVpnAddrs[0].Is4() {
+						hostinfo.logger(hm.l).Error("can not establish v1 relay with a v6 network because the relay is not running a current nebula version")
+						continue
+					}
+
+					if !vpnIp.Is4() {
+						hostinfo.logger(hm.l).Error("can not establish v1 relay with a v6 remote network because the relay is not running a current nebula version")
+						continue
+					}
+
+					b := hm.f.myVpnAddrs[0].As4()
+					m.OldRelayFromAddr = binary.BigEndian.Uint32(b[:])
+					b = vpnIp.As4()
+					m.OldRelayToAddr = binary.BigEndian.Uint32(b[:])
+				case cert.Version2:
+					m.RelayFromAddr = netAddrToProtoAddr(hm.f.myVpnAddrs[0])
+					m.RelayToAddr = netAddrToProtoAddr(vpnIp)
+				default:
+					hostinfo.logger(hm.l).Error("Unknown certificate version found while creating relay")
+					continue
+				}
+				msg, err := m.Marshal()
+				if err != nil {
+					hostinfo.logger(hm.l).
+						WithError(err).
+						Error("Failed to marshal Control message to create relay")
+				} else {
+					// This must send over the hostinfo, not over hm.Hosts[ip]
+					hm.f.SendMessageToHostInfo(header.Control, 0, relayHostInfo, msg, make([]byte, 12), make([]byte, mtu))
+					hm.l.WithFields(logrus.Fields{
+						"relayFrom":           hm.f.myVpnAddrs[0],
+						"relayTo":             vpnIp,
+						"initiatorRelayIndex": existingRelay.LocalIndex,
+						"relay":               relay}).
+						Info("send CreateRelayRequest")
+				}
+			case PeerRequested:
+				// PeerRequested only occurs in Forwarding relays, not Terminal relays, and this is a Terminal relay case.
+				fallthrough
+			default:
+				hostinfo.logger(hm.l).
+					WithField("vpnIp", vpnIp).
+					WithField("state", existingRelay.State).
+					WithField("relay", relay).
+					Errorf("Relay unexpected state")
+
 			}
 		}
 	}
diff --git a/hostmap.go b/hostmap.go
index e3da64b05..99aeb53bf 100644
--- a/hostmap.go
+++ b/hostmap.go
@@ -35,6 +35,7 @@ const (
 	Requested = iota
 	PeerRequested
 	Established
+	Disestablished
 )
 
 const (
@@ -67,9 +68,12 @@ type HostMap struct {
 type RelayState struct {
 	sync.RWMutex
 
-	relays         map[netip.Addr]struct{} // Set of vpnAddr's of Hosts to use as relays to access this peer
-	relayForByAddr map[netip.Addr]*Relay   // Maps vpnAddr of peers for which this HostInfo is a relay to some Relay info
-	relayForByIdx  map[uint32]*Relay       // Maps a local index to some Relay info
+	relays map[netip.Addr]struct{} // Set of vpnAddr's of Hosts to use as relays to access this peer
+	// For data race avoidance, the contents of a *Relay are treated immutably. To update a *Relay, copy the existing data,
+	// modify what needs to be updated, and store the new modified copy in the relayForByIp and relayForByIdx maps (with
+	// the RelayState Lock held)
+	relayForByAddr map[netip.Addr]*Relay // Maps vpnAddr of peers for which this HostInfo is a relay to some Relay info
+	relayForByIdx  map[uint32]*Relay     // Maps a local index to some Relay info
 }
 
 func (rs *RelayState) DeleteRelay(ip netip.Addr) {
@@ -78,6 +82,28 @@ func (rs *RelayState) DeleteRelay(ip netip.Addr) {
 	delete(rs.relays, ip)
 }
 
+func (rs *RelayState) UpdateRelayForByIpState(vpnIp netip.Addr, state int) {
+	rs.Lock()
+	defer rs.Unlock()
+	if r, ok := rs.relayForByAddr[vpnIp]; ok {
+		newRelay := *r
+		newRelay.State = state
+		rs.relayForByAddr[newRelay.PeerAddr] = &newRelay
+		rs.relayForByIdx[newRelay.LocalIndex] = &newRelay
+	}
+}
+
+func (rs *RelayState) UpdateRelayForByIdxState(idx uint32, state int) {
+	rs.Lock()
+	defer rs.Unlock()
+	if r, ok := rs.relayForByIdx[idx]; ok {
+		newRelay := *r
+		newRelay.State = state
+		rs.relayForByAddr[newRelay.PeerAddr] = &newRelay
+		rs.relayForByIdx[newRelay.LocalIndex] = &newRelay
+	}
+}
+
 func (rs *RelayState) CopyAllRelayFor() []*Relay {
 	rs.RLock()
 	defer rs.RUnlock()
@@ -363,6 +389,7 @@ func (hm *HostMap) unlockedDeleteHostInfo(hostinfo *HostInfo) {
 
 func (hm *HostMap) unlockedInnerDeleteHostInfo(hostinfo *HostInfo, addr netip.Addr) {
 	primary, ok := hm.Hosts[addr]
+	isLastHostinfo := hostinfo.next == nil && hostinfo.prev == nil
 	if ok && primary == hostinfo {
 		// The vpn addr pointer points to the same hostinfo as the local index id, we can remove it
 		delete(hm.Hosts, addr)
@@ -412,6 +439,12 @@ func (hm *HostMap) unlockedInnerDeleteHostInfo(hostinfo *HostInfo, addr netip.Ad
 			Debug("Hostmap hostInfo deleted")
 	}
 
+	if isLastHostinfo {
+		// I have lost connectivity to my peers. My relay tunnel is likely broken. Mark the next
+		// hops as 'Requested' so that new relay tunnels are created in the future.
+		hm.unlockedDisestablishVpnAddrRelayFor(hostinfo)
+	}
+	// Clean up any local relay indexes for which I am acting as a relay hop
 	for _, localRelayIdx := range hostinfo.relayState.CopyRelayForIdxs() {
 		delete(hm.Relays, localRelayIdx)
 	}
@@ -476,6 +509,27 @@ func (hm *HostMap) QueryVpnAddrsRelayFor(targetIps []netip.Addr, relayHostIp net
 	return nil, nil, errors.New("unable to find host with relay")
 }
 
+func (hm *HostMap) unlockedDisestablishVpnAddrRelayFor(hi *HostInfo) {
+	for _, relayHostIp := range hi.relayState.CopyRelayIps() {
+		if h, ok := hm.Hosts[relayHostIp]; ok {
+			for h != nil {
+				h.relayState.UpdateRelayForByIpState(hi.vpnAddrs[0], Disestablished)
+				h = h.next
+			}
+		}
+	}
+	for _, rs := range hi.relayState.CopyAllRelayFor() {
+		if rs.Type == ForwardingType {
+			if h, ok := hm.Hosts[rs.PeerAddr]; ok {
+				for h != nil {
+					h.relayState.UpdateRelayForByIpState(hi.vpnAddrs[0], Disestablished)
+					h = h.next
+				}
+			}
+		}
+	}
+}
+
 func (hm *HostMap) queryVpnAddr(vpnIp netip.Addr, promoteIfce *Interface) *HostInfo {
 	hm.RLock()
 	if h, ok := hm.Hosts[vpnIp]; ok {
diff --git a/relay_manager.go b/relay_manager.go
index bbc151db1..9758bcc6b 100644
--- a/relay_manager.go
+++ b/relay_manager.go
@@ -132,7 +132,6 @@ func (rm *relayManager) HandleControlMsg(h *HostInfo, d []byte, f *Interface) {
 	case NebulaControl_CreateRelayResponse:
 		rm.handleCreateRelayResponse(v, h, f, msg)
 	}
-
 }
 
 func (rm *relayManager) handleCreateRelayResponse(v cert.Version, h *HostInfo, f *Interface, m *NebulaControl) {
@@ -167,8 +166,12 @@ func (rm *relayManager) handleCreateRelayResponse(v cert.Version, h *HostInfo, f
 		rm.l.WithField("relayTo", peerHostInfo.vpnAddrs[0]).Error("peerRelay does not have Relay state for relayTo")
 		return
 	}
-	if peerRelay.State == PeerRequested {
-		peerRelay.State = Established
+	switch peerRelay.State {
+	case Requested:
+		// I initiated the request to this peer, but haven't heard back from the peer yet. I must wait for this peer
+		// to respond to complete the connection.
+	case PeerRequested, Disestablished, Established:
+		peerHostInfo.relayState.UpdateRelayForByIpState(targetAddr, Established)
 		resp := NebulaControl{
 			Type:                NebulaControl_CreateRelayResponse,
 			ResponderRelayIndex: peerRelay.LocalIndex,
@@ -247,6 +250,21 @@ func (rm *relayManager) handleCreateRelayRequest(v cert.Version, h *HostInfo, f
 						"existingRemoteIndex": existingRelay.RemoteIndex}).Error("Existing relay mismatch with CreateRelayRequest")
 					return
 				}
+			case Disestablished:
+				if existingRelay.RemoteIndex != m.InitiatorRelayIndex {
+					// We got a brand new Relay request, because its index is different than what we saw before.
+					// This should never happen. The peer should never change an index, once created.
+					logMsg.WithFields(logrus.Fields{
+						"existingRemoteIndex": existingRelay.RemoteIndex}).Error("Existing relay mismatch with CreateRelayRequest")
+					return
+				}
+				// Mark the relay as 'Established' because it's safe to use again
+				h.relayState.UpdateRelayForByIpState(from, Established)
+			case PeerRequested:
+				// I should never be in this state, because I am terminal, not forwarding.
+				logMsg.WithFields(logrus.Fields{
+					"existingRemoteIndex": existingRelay.RemoteIndex,
+					"state":               existingRelay.State}).Error("Unexpected Relay State found")
 			}
 		} else {
 			_, err := AddRelay(rm.l, h, f.hostMap, from, &m.InitiatorRelayIndex, TerminalType, Established)
@@ -258,7 +276,7 @@ func (rm *relayManager) handleCreateRelayRequest(v cert.Version, h *HostInfo, f
 
 		relay, ok := h.relayState.QueryRelayForByIp(from)
 		if !ok {
-			logMsg.Error("Relay State not found")
+			logMsg.WithField("from", from).Error("Relay State not found")
 			return
 		}
 
@@ -310,126 +328,65 @@ func (rm *relayManager) handleCreateRelayRequest(v cert.Version, h *HostInfo, f
 			// Only create relays to peers for whom I have a direct connection
 			return
 		}
-		sendCreateRequest := false
 		var index uint32
 		var err error
 		targetRelay, ok := peer.relayState.QueryRelayForByIp(from)
 		if ok {
 			index = targetRelay.LocalIndex
-			if targetRelay.State == Requested {
-				sendCreateRequest = true
-			}
 		} else {
 			// Allocate an index in the hostMap for this relay peer
 			index, err = AddRelay(rm.l, peer, f.hostMap, from, nil, ForwardingType, Requested)
 			if err != nil {
 				return
 			}
-			sendCreateRequest = true
 		}
-		if sendCreateRequest {
-			// Send a CreateRelayRequest to the peer.
-			req := NebulaControl{
-				Type:                NebulaControl_CreateRelayRequest,
-				InitiatorRelayIndex: index,
-			}
-
-			if v == cert.Version1 {
-				if !h.vpnAddrs[0].Is4() {
-					//TODO: log it
-					return
-				}
+		peer.relayState.UpdateRelayForByIpState(from, Requested)
+		// Send a CreateRelayRequest to the peer.
+		req := NebulaControl{
+			Type:                NebulaControl_CreateRelayRequest,
+			InitiatorRelayIndex: index,
+		}
 
-				b := h.vpnAddrs[0].As4()
-				req.OldRelayFromAddr = binary.BigEndian.Uint32(b[:])
-				b = target.As4()
-				req.OldRelayToAddr = binary.BigEndian.Uint32(b[:])
-			} else {
-				req.RelayFromAddr = netAddrToProtoAddr(h.vpnAddrs[0])
-				req.RelayToAddr = netAddrToProtoAddr(target)
+		if v == cert.Version1 {
+			if !h.vpnAddrs[0].Is4() {
+				//TODO: log it
+				return
 			}
 
-			msg, err := req.Marshal()
-			if err != nil {
-				logMsg.
-					WithError(err).Error("relayManager Failed to marshal Control message to create relay")
-			} else {
-				f.SendMessageToHostInfo(header.Control, 0, peer, msg, make([]byte, 12), make([]byte, mtu))
-				rm.l.WithFields(logrus.Fields{
-					//TODO: IPV6-WORK another lazy used to use the req object
-					"relayFrom":           h.vpnAddrs[0],
-					"relayTo":             target,
-					"initiatorRelayIndex": req.InitiatorRelayIndex,
-					"responderRelayIndex": req.ResponderRelayIndex,
-					"vpnAddr":             target}).
-					Info("send CreateRelayRequest")
-			}
+			b := h.vpnAddrs[0].As4()
+			req.OldRelayFromAddr = binary.BigEndian.Uint32(b[:])
+			b = target.As4()
+			req.OldRelayToAddr = binary.BigEndian.Uint32(b[:])
+		} else {
+			req.RelayFromAddr = netAddrToProtoAddr(h.vpnAddrs[0])
+			req.RelayToAddr = netAddrToProtoAddr(target)
+		}
+
+		msg, err := req.Marshal()
+		if err != nil {
+			logMsg.
+				WithError(err).Error("relayManager Failed to marshal Control message to create relay")
+		} else {
+			f.SendMessageToHostInfo(header.Control, 0, peer, msg, make([]byte, 12), make([]byte, mtu))
+			rm.l.WithFields(logrus.Fields{
+				//TODO: IPV6-WORK another lazy used to use the req object
+				"relayFrom":           h.vpnAddrs[0],
+				"relayTo":             target,
+				"initiatorRelayIndex": req.InitiatorRelayIndex,
+				"responderRelayIndex": req.ResponderRelayIndex,
+				"vpnAddr":             target}).
+				Info("send CreateRelayRequest")
 		}
+
 		// Also track the half-created Relay state just received
-		relay, ok := h.relayState.QueryRelayForByIp(target)
+		_, ok = h.relayState.QueryRelayForByIp(target)
 		if !ok {
-			// Add the relay
-			state := PeerRequested
-			if targetRelay != nil && targetRelay.State == Established {
-				state = Established
-			}
-			_, err := AddRelay(rm.l, h, f.hostMap, target, &m.InitiatorRelayIndex, ForwardingType, state)
+			_, err := AddRelay(rm.l, h, f.hostMap, target, &m.InitiatorRelayIndex, ForwardingType, PeerRequested)
 			if err != nil {
 				logMsg.
 					WithError(err).Error("relayManager Failed to allocate a local index for relay")
 				return
 			}
-		} else {
-			switch relay.State {
-			case Established:
-				if relay.RemoteIndex != m.InitiatorRelayIndex {
-					// We got a brand new Relay request, because its index is different than what we saw before.
-					// This should never happen. The peer should never change an index, once created.
-					logMsg.WithFields(logrus.Fields{
-						"existingRemoteIndex": relay.RemoteIndex}).Error("Existing relay mismatch with CreateRelayRequest")
-					return
-				}
-
-				resp := NebulaControl{
-					Type:                NebulaControl_CreateRelayResponse,
-					ResponderRelayIndex: relay.LocalIndex,
-					InitiatorRelayIndex: relay.RemoteIndex,
-				}
-
-				if v == cert.Version1 {
-					if !h.vpnAddrs[0].Is4() {
-						//TODO: log it
-						return
-					}
-
-					b := h.vpnAddrs[0].As4()
-					resp.OldRelayFromAddr = binary.BigEndian.Uint32(b[:])
-					b = target.As4()
-					resp.OldRelayToAddr = binary.BigEndian.Uint32(b[:])
-				} else {
-					resp.RelayFromAddr = netAddrToProtoAddr(h.vpnAddrs[0])
-					resp.RelayToAddr = netAddrToProtoAddr(target)
-				}
-
-				msg, err := resp.Marshal()
-				if err != nil {
-					rm.l.
-						WithError(err).Error("relayManager Failed to marshal Control CreateRelayResponse message to create relay")
-				} else {
-					f.SendMessageToHostInfo(header.Control, 0, h, msg, make([]byte, 12), make([]byte, mtu))
-					rm.l.WithFields(logrus.Fields{
-						//TODO: IPV6-WORK more lazy, used to use resp object
-						"relayFrom":           h.vpnAddrs[0],
-						"relayTo":             target,
-						"initiatorRelayIndex": resp.InitiatorRelayIndex,
-						"responderRelayIndex": resp.ResponderRelayIndex,
-						"vpnAddrs":            h.vpnAddrs}).
-						Info("send CreateRelayResponse")
-				}
-
-			case Requested:
-				// Keep waiting for the other relay to complete
-			}
 		}
 	}
 }