diff --git a/includes/employment.tex b/includes/employment.tex
index 5963c13..6db4858 100644
--- a/includes/employment.tex
+++ b/includes/employment.tex
@@ -5,31 +5,31 @@ \section{Employment}
   {January 2023 - May 2023}
   {Kaluza - a Green Energy PaaS}
   {Software Engineering Manager - Event Streaming Platform}
-  {Management of a small team of Scala engineers building high performance streaming software. Engagement on this team was low when I joined; most of the team hadn't seen a promotion for several years. By setting up a goal-framing framework and encouraging the team to join squad/ company level initiatives, all IC level engineers on the team made it onto the promotion path. This increased the number of initiatives the team delivered, and increased engagement scores on surveys done with Peakon.}
+  {Management of a small team of Scala engineers building high performance streaming software. Engagement on this team was low when I joined; most of the team hadn't seen a promotion for several years. By setting up a goal-framing framework and encouraging the team to join squad/ company level initiatives, all IC level engineers on the team had open promotion cases.}
 
   \entry
   {January 2023 - May 2023}
   {Kaluza - a Green Energy PaaS}
   {Software Engineering Manager - Data and Analytics Platform}
-  {Merge of the previous Analytics Platform with another (Data Warehousing) team, setting capacity and delivery plans and building programmes and processes to upskill Data Analysts to become Analytics Engineers competent in Scala. Management of the team through a re-architecture of the platform, while delivering initiatives on time and under-budget.}
+  {Merge of the previous Analytics Platform with another (Data Warehousing) team, setting capacity and delivery plans and building programmes and processes to upskill Data Analysts to become Analytics Engineers competent in Scala. Management of the team through a re-architecture of the platform, while increasing the rate at which initiatives were delivered with no increase to budget or headcount}
 
   \entry
   {August 2022 - January 2023}
   {Kaluza - a Green Energy PaaS}
   {Software Engineering Manager - Analytics Platform}
-  {Genesis of a Data and Analytics Engineering Team, building out a Data Platform. Breaking silos between Data Engineers and Analysts to build T-shaped engineers.}
+  {Genesis of a Data and Analytics Engineering Team, building out a Data Platform. Breaking silos between Data Engineers and Analysts to build T-shaped engineers, increasing a feeling of personal ownership among those engineers. Technical and architectural oversight of new features by facilitating workshops and whiteboard sessions.}
 
   \entry
   {March 2022 - January 2023}
   {Kaluza - a Green Energy PaaS}
   {Software Engineering Manager - Developer Experience}
-  {Management of a high-performance software team, including line management, goal setting, career and personal improvement, and mission/vision work. Internal stakeholder relations, product management, user research. During my time on this team I grew headcount from three to eight people, taking two engineers through promotions and bringing in early talent.}
+  {Inherited a team of three engineers with low engagement and poor morale. Built a product vision and strategy, including KPIs, walked the team through setting mission/vision (with 100\% buy-in), and set clear progression paths. Through ownership of recruitment, I grew this team to eight people in six months without jeopardising culture, frequently topping the charts for engagement metrics in company-wide surveys.}
 
   \entry
   {July 2021 - September 2021}
   {Databank, a Korean Edtech Startup}
   {Engineering Manager}
-  {Line management and architectural oversight of a team of developers in Seoul, until my work permit ran out. Migration away from a frontend/backend developer silo model into a more cohesive engineering team mentality. Expansion of agile methodologies within the team, including the adoption of kanban, including tshirt sizing and BDD. Bridging the gap between engineering and Customer Support (CS) through the hiring of Application Support engineers. Architectural mentorship of software engineers, and wider technical mentorship of non-engineering staff.}
+  {Line management and architectural oversight of a team of developers in Seoul, until my work permit ran out. Migration away from a frontend/backend developer silo model into a more cohesive engineering team mentality. Expansion of agile methodologies within the team, including the adoption of kanban, including tshirt sizing and BDD. Bridging the gap between engineering and Customer Support (CS) through the hiring of Application Support engineers. Delivered a monetisation strategy, \textit{and} a new product all far within schedule and budget through increased engagement and ownership}
 
   \entry
   {December 2019 - August 2020}