Join a culture where (1) your desired behavior is the normal
behavior and (2) you already have something in common with the
group. Steve Kamb, an entrepreneur in New York City, runs a
company called Nerd Fitness, which “helps nerds, misfits, and
mutants lose weight, get strong, and get healthy.” His clients include
video game lovers, movie fanatics, and average Joes who want to get in
shape. Many people feel out of place the first time they go to the gym
or try to change their diet, but if you are already similar to the other
members of the group in some way—say, your mutual love of Star
Wars—change becomes more appealing because it feels like something
people like you already do.
Nothing sustains motivation better than belonging to the tribe. It
transforms a personal quest into a shared one. Previously, you were on
your own. Your identity was singular. You are a reader. You are a
musician. You are an athlete. When you join a book club or a band or
a cycling group, your identity becomes linked to those around you.
Growth and change is no longer an individual pursuit. We are readers.
We are musicians. We are cyclists. The shared identity begins to
reinforce your personal identity. This is why remaining part of a group
after achieving a goal is crucial to maintaining your habits. It’s
friendship and community that embed a new identity and help
behaviors last over the long run.
on your own